Honeymoon Hijinks
by spectre666
Summary: Kim is busy, but GJ has an urgent mission for two. Enter a reluctant Ron, and a puzzled Monique. This is for CMY
1. Chapter 1

"**Do you take..."**

I.

"KP, I'm telling you, this is a bad idea."

Kim's image on the Kimmunicator frowned, then began morphing into the infamous Puppy Dog Pout. "But, Ronnie..."

"No, KP, bad idea I tell you, bad."

"But, Ronnie," Kim pouted, "I thought you liked Monique."

"I do, doesn't mean I want to go on a mission with her." Ron answered.

"Ron, it's really not a mission, just a pick up." Kim plead.

"Fine," Ron smiled in triumph, "then I don't need Monique, do I?"

Kim's head lowered, a small growl sounded over the device. "Ronnie, how many times do I have to say it, Dr. Director specifically said she needed a man woman team."

"Why?"

"I don't know why, OK! And since I can't go..."

Ron smirked, "Why doesn't GJ send Willie boy, can't get another agent to be around him that long?"

"RON!"

Ron winced. He really, really needed to talk to Wade about an automatic volume control for the Kimmunicator. "Ok, ok, I'll go. But since Monique has zero experience, how about I give Yori a call?"

Wondering how he could develop frost bite from a screen, Ron surrendered, "Right, Monique it is. When does our ride get here?"

"About fifteen minutes after I convince Monique to go. Gotta go, bye."

Ron stared at the blank screen in astonishment. Oh, his flame haired GF was going to owe him for this one, big time. And unlike every time before, Ron smiled to himself, he was definitely going to collect.

II.

Monique stared at the blank screen in front of her. Her head slowly sank to the desk. A light thump was heard, gradually growing louder and louder as her head bounced. "No, no, no." She whimpered, "The last item of a four thousand item inventory and the 'puter eats it. Noooo."

At the sound of _Yes, we have no bananas_ her hand groped for the phone.

"Club Banana, Mo...Monique speaking."

"Monique? What's wrong?"

"K...Kim?"

"It's me, but you don't sound too good. What's the matter?"

Monique sighed, "I just found out my weekend is completely arranged."

"What?"

"The computer just ate the inventory I posted. I'll be here all weekend redoing it. The manager wants it done by Monday. Anyway, girlfriend, enough of my troubles , what did you need? New outfit for a hot date with monkey boy this weekend?"

"Nothing like that. I actually called to do you a favor." Kim's voice oozed sincerity.

"Uh-huh." Monique replied cautiously, "And that favor would be?"

"How about an all expense paid visit to Monte Carlo to the premier of the new Cocoa Banana Mediterranean line, available only in Europe? Monique? Monique?" Kim heard a clatter over the line. "Monique, you still there?"

"I...I...sorry, dropped the phone." Monique finally answered. "Are you serious? They won't even let us speculate on those fashions. You know that."

"Not a problem, Mo. All you have to do is be out front in fifteen minutes and you're on your way."

"Ah, girl friend, aren't you forgetting a few things?"

"Like what, Monique?"

Monique held the phone away from her ear, staring at it incredulously. "Oh, I don't know, what about clothes, someplace to stay, telling my folks I'm on the happy highway to Europe? And I still have to finish the inventory." She wailed.

"No big, Wade?"

The screen in front of Monique came to life, figures scrolling rapidly down.

"But...but..."

"No problem, Monique," Wade's image grinned from the corner of the screen. "I did notice that you transposed two different items on page twenty though."

"How...how..."

Wade's image flamboyantly tapped a key. "And there you go, inventory updated and correct. Anything else?"

Kim's image appeared on the opposite corner of the screen. "Nope, thanks Wade, you rock totally."

Wade's image closed as Monique tried to close her mouth. "How...how..."

Kim's image smirked, "Like Ron says, Wade has the world wired." Her hand came up to stroke her chin in thought, "Which sometimes really worries me." She shook her head. "Anyway, ready to go?"

Monique blinked, "What? No! What about parents, clothes..."

Kim's image waved nonchalantly, "All taken care of, just be out front," She glanced at her watch, "in seven minutes."

"But..but..."

"Six minutes, Mo, better hurry." Kim's image closed.

III.

Ron closed the folder. _"This is never going to work. I know it, I just know it."_ He lowered his head into his hands. "_Monique won't kill me, hurt me, but I can live through pain. Of course, when KP finds out we blew the mission, __**she'll **__kill me." _He began to pace the waiting room._ "At least GJ set me up right. Of course, Mo' may be a little upset when she finds out her role, but..."_

The door slammed open, "All right, enough is enough. Where are we and would you never let that idiot fly a plane again."

Ron looked at his friend, her complexion looked a little strange with a greenish tint. "Monique, ah, what..."

Monique slumped into a chair. "I thought pilots knew enough to fly around air pockets or whatever you call them. That idiot seemed to think that dropping my stomach was the fun part of the flight." She clasped her arms around her stomach moaning, "What did I ever do to him?" She looked up at Ron, "This is all your fault, you know?"

Ron paled, "No, no, KP, her idea and..."

Monique's glare grew, "Her idea maybe, but if you hadn't gone along with it..."

"Mo'", Ron interrupted shakily, "she used the puppy dog pout. You know how..."

"Oh, grow a spine." Monique growled. She sat up frowning. "All right, I'm here, wherever here is, so give."

Ron looked blank.

Monique sighed, "Kim said you would tell me what was going on, so talk."

"Oh, oh, yeah, talk." Ron swallowed nervously. "Here, this will explain everything." He shoved a manila folder into her hands. "Just read it and then I'll answer any questions I can."

Monique's brow rose but she opened the folder.

Ron began to edge away, if nothing else, getting behind the bar would slow her down when she attacked. He watched intently as she read the contents of the innocent folder. He relaxed when she began to giggle, but tensed when she growled. Finally, Monique raised her head to stare at him. Ron's nerves began clamoring for retreat, but he managed to stand firm. Finally, he broke the silence. "Well?"

Monique narrowed her eyes, "You have got to be kidding!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

I.

Ron looked at his image in the full length mirror. Yep, GJ had definitely done him proud. The tailored silver sharkskin jacket fit better than his skin. Black silk shirt, gold cuff links, dark trousers, and Italian loafers lent the appropriate sophisticated touch. He wasn't too sure about the hair cut, but Francois had insisted that the slight darkening, coupled with the new style would confuse anyone who knew him. All in all, he was the picture of the wealthy young party goer. Monique on the other hand...

"What are you practicing for? Pimp designer of the year!" Monique bellowed indignantly from the opposite bedroom in the suite. "Ron!"

Before Ron could decide whether to run or answer, Monique stormed into the room. Arms akimbo she demanded, "Look at this! Look at what those idiots want me to wear!"

Ron's eyes popped, but he did as demanded, finally mumbling, "Ah...you...ah...look...nice, Mo."

Monique's jaw dropped before she stomped forward, shoving Ron out from in front of the mirror. She gestured at her image in disgust. "You call this nice? I knew you were fashion challenged, but even you.."

Ron surveyed his friend judiciously. He knew he wasn't up on the hottest fashions for women, after all, his BFGF told him so often enough. He started his survey at the top and worked down. "_Let's see here, Afro right out of old cop show reruns, leopard skin bustier, boustier? Whatever. Bare midriff showing the nice belly button. Is that a ring? Black mini skirt almost touching the tops of silver lame stockings, six inch leopard skin heels." _Ron shook his head numbly. He couldn't say any one item was what did it, but the overall look almost blinded him. "Well, ah, Mo', your cover** is** that you're someone my rich daddy didn't want me hooking up with."

"Hooking up with? Hooking up with!" Monique screeched. "I look like a walking shoot on sight poster for any father who saw me. And God knows what the mothers would do." She whirled, running to the open door to snatch her dresser back before he could make good his escape. She pulled him close, nose to nose, and growled, "Now you listen to me. This is what we're going to do, and this is what I"m going to wear."

Ron tried to break in, "Ah, Mo', this plan was made by Dr. Dir..."

"Shut up, Ron." Monique snarled over her shoulder. "We do this my way or this plan is busted right now. _Capiche_!"

Ron wilted, his hands coming up to shield himself, "Ah, right, right, what you said." He backed away.

Monique turned back to her quivering captive. "Now, get ready for orders."

II.

Kim tried to wipe the sweat out of her eyes with the tail of her soaked tee shirt. She was exhausted. Undercover work trying to root out a mole in GJ seemed so simple. Instead, she was being used as the distraction while others did the actual digging. Her cover, intentionally weak, was that she was in Tokyo for the martial arts competition. GJ had even provided an "expert" coach. Kim growled to herself. A coach complete with assistants. She narrowed her eyes as the head assistant coach spoke.

"Possible san, your three minute rest period is over. Are you ready to resume?"

III.

"Dr. Director, the new computers and electronics equipment you provided for the Yamanuchi school is most welcome." The old teacher took a sip of his tea, "_even if we did have to remove numerous bugs and tracking devices from them." _"Can you tell me why our services were required?"

On the monitor, Dr. Director set her coffee cup down. "Yes, partially. We're using Mr. Stoppable on an undercover mission in Europe. While he is a very competent young man, very few would readily recognize him. Kimberly, on the other hand, is too well known to go unnoticed. However, if she knew Mr. Stoppable might be in danger, there would be no way we could stop her from accompanying him."

"I...see." Sensei said carefully. "Exactly how much danger is young Stoppable expected to encounter?"

"I think very little. We're actually using him and his companion as bait to catch some criminals. My agents should have little problem with them once they expose themselves. Now, if that is all, sir, I have..."

"Many important projects to oversee. I understand. I thank you for your time and the explanation."

"Thank you for your assistance, Sensei. I'll keep you informed."

"Again my thanks." On his last word, the image of Dr. Director smiled, reaching for a switch. The picture disappeared.

Sensei stroked his beard thoughtfully. Something was rotten in Denmark as the saying went.

"Hirotaka."

A slim figure appeared, bowing respectfully. "Master?"

"You may assume Miss Possibles instruction. Send Yori to me."

"Hai, Sensei."

III.

Ron shook his head mentally. He didn't really know the difference, but whatever Mo' had done it sure looked good. Her hair was soft and wavy, curling down, almost covering one eye, giving her a mysterious, forbidden look. The dress fit her in some way he didn't understand. An off ivory sheath that looked expensive and elegant. He leaned over as the limousine pulled to a stop, "Well, Mrs. Carter, ready for your debut?"

Monique turned to her "husband". "Much more ready than I was the first time that idiot tried to dress me." She looked out the window at the approaching bell hops. "Ron, I don't think I can do this. I'm not an actress." Her eyes widened in beginning panic. "Ron, I've never been in any kind of play. I tried once. I was in my seventh grade pageant." Her hands grabbed his lapels. "I had one line. One line! I forgot it! Ron!"

Watching the panic burgeon in Monique's eyes, Ron glanced over his shoulder. The hotel personnel were approaching. _"This is no time for this, it's show time. I __could slap her, naw, that wouldn't look right for honeymooners. Or I could..." _

"Ah, messier_ et mes dame, _I apologize sincerely for the interruption, but if you would?"

Ron raised his head, turning to look at the hotelier. "Of course, sir, no problem." He allowed a little appropriate irritation to cloud his voice. "Honey?"

Monique's fists were clenched on his lapels, her eyes closed. "Mmmm?"

"We have to go in now, honey."

"Whatever you say, dear." Monique replied dreamily.

The hotelier smiled companionably at Ron.

"Ah, honey, I think it'll work better if you open your eyes first." Ron whispered.

Monique blinked, then her eyes snapped open. "Ron..." Her begining tirade was interrupted when Ron kissed her again.

Against the soft lips, Ron murmured, "Not now, Mo', later." He pulled back slowly.

"Whatever you say dear."

Ron smirked, "_She looks like I probably do after a long dry spell between nachos. Wonder what's up with that? Oh, well, better get started." _

Ron eased Monique out of the car to the accompanying sly grins of the hotel personnel. Tucking her hand in his arm, he led her to the front desk. Half way there, he felt her nails clench into his arm. Ron heard a ghostly murmur. "Dead meat, monkey boy, you are dead meat."

IV.

"Hirotaka? What are you doing here."

"I am your new primary instructor, Possible-san, shall we begin?"

"Where did Yori go?"

"She...ah...had a personal emergency come up. We begin now." Stopping further conversation, Hirotaka leaped forward.

V.

"_I'm coming my Ron-chan. I will save you from those who would ruin your pure soul." _

Yori sat back into her first class seat. Surely Sensei could have found her something faster than the Concorde. After all, her chosen one needed her.


	3. Chapter 3

Honeymoon Hijinks: Chapter 3

I.

Ron frowned. When he had handed the bell hop his tip, the man had slipped him a folded piece of paper. Shutting the door, he began to open it, only to be halted by a low growl. He glanced up at his 'bride', motioning to Monique to be patient. He missed the increased frown, clenched teeth, and clenched fists.

_"The walls have ears, be realistic, __**honeymooner.**__"_

Wondering to himself what the note meant, Ron felt a sharp pain on his foot. Looking down, he realized a size 7 heel was grinding into his toe. "Monique?" He moaned.

"Yeah, Monique." Mo' snarled. "Now..." Her beginning rant was cut off by Ron's large hand.

Ignoring the pain from a set of pearly white teeth currently clenched onto the fleshy part of his hand, Ron whispered. "Not here. We'll go outside." The teeth bit harder. "Mo', please, just trust me." Ron plead with tear filled eyes.

The teeth released. "This better be good." Monique hissed.

"Honey, why don't you freshen up and we'll go out for a bite to eat. I heard there was a very good cafe not too far from here." Ron said weakly.

"Just give me a minute, lover, and I'm all yours." Monique replied, her loving voice disguising the threatening scowl she wore.

II.

Kim collapsed on her bed. What in the world was she thinking when she crushed on that sadistic tyrant? He wasn't a pretty boy, he was a mad Barkin in a different body! Moaning with fatigue she fumbled in her dresser for her class ring. GJ had rendered the Kimmunicator unreliable for private conversations, but the ring she had kept from high school worked on a different frequency and application. "Wade?"

A beam shot out of the ring solidifying into an image. A face appeared, the mouth almost blanking out the display in a jaw breaking yawn. "Kim?"

"Oops, forgot the time difference, sorry Wade." Kim apologized.

"No problem," Wade blinked fuzzily, "I was only recovering from a seventy two hour on line video marathon with Felix. What's up." The teen genius blinked at his board, "And why are you using that old ring instead of the bracelet Kimmunicator?"

"GJ has the bracelet bugged." Kim's lower lip began to pout, "And I so need some private time with my Ron."

"No need to pull out the big guns, Kim." Wade said hastily. "Just a minute and I'll connect you."

Wade's face dissolved into a picture of...blackness?

"Wade? What happened?" Kim began to panic. "Is Ron in a cell or...or..."

"Just a minute." The sound of computer keys being rapidly tapped came over the ring. "There, we should be able to get audio no..."

"Ohhhhhh, GOD, LOVER, AHHHHH, YES, YESSS!"

The sound abruptly vanished. The blackness was replaced by Wade's goggle eyed face. "What..what..."

"Wade, have you been playing with the fantasy sites again." Kim growled.

"No, honest." Wade stuttered. "Not after you introduced me to the real voice of that one image." Wade shuddered in remembrance.

"Then what was **that?" **Kim demanded.

"Uh...Ron?"

"Since when does Ron have a soprano scream?" Kim's voice climbed higher with each word. "Wade, get me a ride to wherever..."

"That won't be possible, Miss Possible."

Kim's gaze whipped around to see the senior female GJ agent standing in her doorway. "And after you promised Dr. Director you wouldn't try to contact Mr. Stoppable. Tch, tch." The woman shook her head in disappointment.

III.

Monique whirled on her 'husband'. "All right, **dear**, what in the..."

Ron placed one finger on Monique's lips. To any watchers, his soft caress and light smile looked the epitome of a loving mate. "Not here, Mo', wait 'till we get to the beach."

Monique's eyes glittered, but her features softened into a loving smile as she sucked Ron's finger between her ripe lips. Ron felt the soft lick of a wet tongue, then his smile turned strained. "Ah, Mo'? You know...ah...teeth...ow...owie."

Mo' smiled up into Ron's eyes. "Fine," she gritted around the obstructing digit, "but it better be good."

Ron's smile was becoming strained as the ivories sank deeper into his finger. "Everything, Mo. I swear."

Monique pulled Ron's finger from between her lips with a parting kiss. Tucking her arm into his she strolled toward the beach, leaning into him to whisper, "If it isn't, I can do more than bite. Pain King isn't my favorite for nothing you know."'

Ron nuzzled her ear, "I promise, Monique. On the beach where long distance mikes won't work so well."

Monique's eyes popped wide. "_Long distance mikes? What is going on?"_

IV.

"Miss Possible, where is your Kimmunicator bracelet?"

"Ah, on my wrist?"

"Exactly. It's a well known piece of your equipment. Now Mr. Stoppable went undercover with an assumed identity. What do you think enemy agents would think if they found a Kimmunicator in his baggage?"

"Well, uh, I mean..."

"Exactly. Now if you are finished trying to blow Mr. Stoppables' cover?"

"Ah, yes, ma'am."

The agent turned to leave. Before she could exit, Kim bolted upright. "Wait! If that wasn't Ron, who was it?"

The agent didn't turn. "Would it shock you to know that a certain holding room clerk is going to be explaining her on duty activities to the Director?"

Kim felt a grin fighting to form on her face, "Ah, no, no, I believe it wouldn't."

"Good night, Miss Possible."

V.

Monique lay back against the pillows of the luxuriously welcoming bed. Her arms were crossed on her chest, if there had been light, a scowl would be seen on her face. Not knowing of her mood, the man beside her slept peacefully.

_"Hmmph. I thought he said we were supposed to fool the bad guys. 'the ears have walls'. Uh, I mean, the walls have dears. No, that doesn't sound right. Anyway, that was the most pathetic excuse for a wedding night, who evers listen' prob thought we had a two minute drill going." _The dark beauty wiggled back into the cushions. "_Probably think I don't know how to handle my man." _Her scowl deepened. "_I_ _saw those_ _topless hussies on the beach winking at him. Even if it's pretend, he's sposed to be mine." _She blinked in the darkness, clapping a hand over her mouth to stop the eruption of giggles. "_Woah, I wonder what was in those drinks. Ron didn't say anything," _Her scowl returned. _"Too busy breaking the baccarat bank. I mean, they were just mint milkshakes, and it was so hot in there. Almost didn't have one but glad I did. Who wants to eat or drink anythin' called a grasshopper?"_

She rolled over, one hand making contact with the warm flank beside her. She lightly stroked it._"An now that I think 'bout it, monkey boy here has gotten pretty fine since he started college. Firmed up nicely, I understand why those hookers..." _A low growl sounded. "_Still not sposed ta be eyeballin' my man, even if it is only pretend." _Her fingers continued to caress the warm muscular flesh beside her. _"Really oughta give the bad guys a thrill, mean show, show, thas what I mean. After all, it's my paticuotic, paoutic, patri..patri...It's for my country!"_

She softly rolled the man beside her onto his back. Her hands moving from his flanks to his chest in circular, soft, caresses. Monique bent to place light, fairy kisses on his chin and lips. Holding herself just above him, she could almost feel the tightening muscles. _"Oh yeah, baby boy was holding out on me."_

She lowered that final distance.

VI.

Kim's eyes popped wide as she jerked awake in her bed. _"Wait a minute! She never actually said Ron didn't have his Kimmunicator, and what's the time difference between here and Monte Carlo?"_


	4. Chapter 4

Honeymoon Hijinx: Chapter 4

I.

Ron swirled the dregs of his coffee. "_I'm dead. Even if it was a dream (God, please, please, make it a dream) KP will never understand." _Sensing a presence beside him he turned to find his new 'bride' standing beside him. "Mo...Monique?"

"I thought we had something to do today." Monique said softly.

Ron swallowed heavily. "Monique, ah, about last night..."

"We'll talk about that later, what about what we're here to do?"

"Ah, right, right. Well, the exchange isn't for a few more hours, would you like some breakfast?"

Monique sat across from him, "No, let's just get this over with."

Ron blinked, Mo' sure had changed her attitude about the mission. "Ah, I have to go to the men's room, be back in a minute." In keeping with their masquerade, he stood, then leaned over to kiss her cheek. Monique adroitly dodged, staring coldly at him. "Right, be back in a minute."

Monique's eyes followed him until the door closed behind him. Her hand raised to her lips. "All right, control, just what the hell did those two do last night?"

II.

Monique moaned. _"Would somebody please get those little men with the sledge hammers to quiet down?" _Her hand twitched, but the lightning strike across her forehead dissuaded any attempt at mobility. "_I'll just lay here until the morticians arrive, at least then the pain will be gone." _She whimpered internally as memories began to flash behind her pounding eyes. "_Oh, we did not go there, I know it was all a dream. And if I'm having those kind of dreams about monkey boy I __**really**__ need to get out more. He is one heckuva kisser though. NO, bad Monique, bad!" _ Pulling her courage tight, she cracked her eyelids. A blurry figure sat on the edge of the bed. "R-Ron?"

"Do not speak the chosen one's name, _gaijin, _you are not worthy." A melodious voice snarled.

"Ron?!" Monique jerked upright. "Ahhhhh, noooo, the pain." She moaned as she attempted to hold her shattering head together with both hands. She finally managed to bring the room into focus, not without considerable pain and will power. Blinking, Monique managed. "Who...who are you?"

"I am..."

"Please," Monique moaned, "Don't shout."

"I am not shouting. I am attempting to have a normal conversation with the seductress who stained the chosen one."

Monique fell back against the pillows, her eyes closing. "Please, I know you from somewhere, but just go away. You can tell me everything at the funeral."

"What funeral?"

"Mine." From her supine position, Monique cracked her eyes the tiniest bit. She saw an attractive asian staring at her with a puzzled frown. "Just go away for now. You can help me kill Monkey boy later." She closed her eyes against the evil light. She felt, more than heard the intruder move closer.

"I do not know what you are...are..."

Monique felt the woman fall on top of her. _"Oh, no, even dying I don't play that game!" _She began to rise only to fall back. _"I'll....go...Pain...King...later. Sleep...."_

The door opened on the two sleeping women.

"Took long enough."

"Give me a break, it takes a while to fill the room with gas from the ceiling vents. This guy must be some player. Two in the same bed."

"Doesn't matter. We're just supposed to pick up the one. What do we do with the second?"

"So we get paid extra." The two men picked up the women, then dropped them in a laundry cart.

"That cart's kind of small for two isn't it?"

"Not our problem, theirs." The two men covered the bodies with linens, then rolled them out the door.

III.

Kim moaned as the steaming water soothed her bruises. This was the first formal tournament she had participated in. _"Taking on henchmen is less painful." _She mused. "_I'd love to see Shego go up against that last girl."_ She softly massaged her aching ribs. Her first opponent, Jil Lang, a tall, willowy kung fu fighter, had the bad luck to receive all of the frustration Kim had been feeling at not being able to be with Ron. While Jil had scored four or five sound hits they were not enough to stop the redheaded terror from Middleton. One minute and twelve seconds into the first round Kim had got in close and caught the Chinese girl with a palm strike to the sternum and an elbow across her jaw. The girl's eyes crossed and she dropped like a sack of potatoes. Kim grinned at the memory.

The second match had been an entirely different affair. Kwi Jin was a stocky girl about twenty five years of age. She had been more of a boxer, excelling at close in fighting. Kim found this out after being swept and having to quickly roll out of the way to avoid have her head stomped on. Adjusting her attack, Kim caught the girl from Taiwan with a round house kick to her left knee. She followed it with a spin back kick. Kwi Jin flown out of the ring skidding into a judge with her uniform coming partially undone. Kim,still upset from nearly having her face rearranged, hadn't really worried about Kwi Jin's embarrassing situation with the judge. Kwi picked herself up, bowing to the embarrassed judge. She turned to return to the competition area. She and Kim had bowed to each other and begun again. Kwi Jin rushed Kim and struck her with a right cross to the jaw, followed by a front kick to Kim's hip and an attempt to sweep Kim again. This time the Kim had been ready, spinning out of the way from the kick to her hip and moving off to the side. Kwi had tried to lurch after her, Kim performed a back flip and nailed Kwi with a double kick to her chin. Kwi began staggering. Kim had swept Kwi's back leg and held on to her arm. They fell to the mat together. Kim had already cocked her free elbow and delivered a back elbow to Kwi's left breast fracturing four ribs. Kim had reset the elbow and Kwi seeing where the next one was headed tapped the mat, giving up. Kim helped the other girl up and congratulated her on a good fight.

Letting the almost boiling water soak the soreness out, Kim winced. "I_t feels like I got kicked by a mule. I wonder who they have planned for tomorrow? Doesn't matter, one more bout, and I can leave and save Ron. If Betty hasn't caught her mole by then, too bad." _She slipped further down in the bubbling tub, smiling to herself. _"Ron will be so happy to see me."_

IV.

Ron watched the street from the _al fresco_ table he sat at. People watching had always been fun, but this time he couldn't enjoy it. Something was definitely wrong. The contact had signaled to abort, giving a second sign that she would be in contact. Monique had growled at him, then returned to the room, saying she wanted to be alone, after he explained that the swap had been canceled.

"_i will never understand women." _He mused, "_Last night...I mean I know, at least I think I know, what happened happened, but...and KP." _Burgeoning panic flared in his eyes. "_What am I gonna tell KP? At least I won't have to worry about that until I get back to Middleton. But..."_

A deep voice spoke from behind him. "_M'seiu Carter? _Would you come with us, please?"

Ron turned to see two men in suits behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Honeymoon Hijinks: Chapter 5

I.

_"Ronald Stoppable, you are a dead man walking." _Monique moaned to herself. "_Just a little trip to the Riviera, no problem. Now I not only have a massive headache, but..." _She jerked her wrists behind her back, tried to straighten her legs, "_I have apparently been kidnapped, and judging from that grunt, you aren't with me. Unless your voice has suddenly gotten much lighter." _Grimacing against her headache, Monique began working her hands down her back and under her bottom. "_I may not be a cheerleader, but I can do this." _With a grunt, she managed to slide her bound wrists further. "_I can do this." _Monique slid to her back, her legs coming up into the air, her wrists popping past her buns into the crook of her knees she felt two feet collide firmly with her backside, sliding her head into some kind of canvas. "Ooof." She grunted, continuing to work her hands up. The feet moved around her bottom seeking a target, then lashed out harshly. "Owwww!"

With her hands in front of her reached for the clothe gagging her. What felt like a small heel smashed between her thighs, doubling her head into her lap. Tearful eyes blazing with anger, Monique raised both legs, bringing her heels down hard. A muffled "uhhhh..." answered her. _"That'll teach you to kick..."_ She thought in satisfaction, right before the feet between her legs rose and extended sharply.

Monique bit her lip in renewed pain. "_Oh, no you didn't, not the girls!" _Forgetting her gag, she dropped her legs, rose to her knees, with bound claws extending, she lunged forward.

II.

Ron looked at the two in astonishment. "My wife will be returning in a moment, gentlemen, why would I want to go with you?"

The closest suit, a middle aged, portly man, pulled a wallet from his coat, flipping it open and closing it. The other suit, tall and lean, pulled his jacket open to show the butt of a pistol. The first put his wallet away. "That was not a request, M'sieu."

A sickly smile grew on Ron's face. "Well, when you put it like that." He pushed his chair back and stood, walking away between the two. As they passed an alley, Ron stopped. "You know, I didn't get a good look at your I.D. Could I see that again?"

"I don't think you need to see it." The portly man reached for Ron's arm. Ron heard the one behind take two fast steps. Before the first could grab him, Ron ducked under his arm, bringing his leg up behind him to intersect the thin one's groin. As his heel connected he grabbed the first's elbow, forcing the man to extend his grasp, stumbling into a half circle. As his back turned to Ron, Ron surged up, putting a breaker hold on him. Glancing over his shoulder, Ron saw the lean man crumpled on the ground groaning. Whirling the first in front of him into the alley, Ron threw a right cross to his jaw, dropping him. He whirled to the second, seeing him beginning to recover, reaching into his jacket. Ron took three steps and brought his elbow down on the man's neck. He grabbed the black collar, dragging the lean man into the alley with his companion. Ron reached in the short man's coat, pulling out his wallet. He shook his head, then reached down to pull the man's head up. Ron shook him. When this got no reaction, Ron began slapping the flabby face back and forth.

"Wh-what?" The man finally responded groggily.

Ron held the wallet in front of the fat face. "All right, what's going on? I've seen better fake id's on high school kids."

The eyes cut back and forth, settling on the crumpled body thrown further in the alley.

"That's right." Ron growled, "And unless you want to join him, start talking."

"I...I don't know what...."

"Wrong answer." Ron said mildly. His hand reached out, fingers curling into the depression between the shoulder and neck. He squeezed with two fingers. The broad mouth opened in a silent scream. "Now, if I have to go to the trouble of taking you and your pal somewhere private..." He let the threat go unvoiced.

"_Non, _please." The man gasped, "We were given ten thousand Euros and told to take you to...to..."

Ron grabbed the man's throat. "Don't clam up now, maggot." He smiled evilly. "I'd really, really hate to have to work for the information."

The man swallowed heavily. "All...all I know is we were to take you to the basement. That's all, I swear!"

Ron's grin grew. "I believe you." He snapped his knuckles lightly between the close eyes. The eyes rolled up, the fat man collapsed. "I knew I should have worn my old clothes." Ron groused as he lifted the man up, then carried him to a nearby dumpster.

III.

"Calm down." The voice on her phone replied. "You don't have to become intimate with him, we've made other arrangements. Of course, the cost of those arrangements will come out of your....ah...commission."

"What? That's not fair! I..."

"You were supposed to retrieve the item from him, you failed." The voice sounded both bored and dangerous. "Do not fail us again." The connection terminated.

The black luxurious hair momentarily turned straight, long, and blond. "This is like, so not fair." The owner wailed.

IV.

Yori groggily tried to open her eyes. _"Where...what...." _She felt two thumps on her bosom. "_Attacked...being attacked." _Reflexively she returned the strike by straightening her legs. She heard a muffled moan. _"Yes, now...seize...initiative." _She drove her bare feet between the attackers legs. A muffled howl answered, just before a body fell on her, hands reaching to tear her hair.

"_Hands...bound...must defend." _Yori sliced at her bounds with the hardened, sharp nail of her little finger, trying to ignore the pain of her almost detached scalp. "_You will pay for this assault, cowardly one." _She managed as her bonds broke. The adrenaline began flushing the drug from her rapidly awaking system. She brought her hands together in front of her, their joining sharply interrupted by soft pliant flesh. Her inadvertent strike was answered by a muffled squeal and a head butt. Her eyes watering, Yori snarled soundlessly. "_Ok, that is enough. No one strikes..." _Her interior rant was interrupted by two joined fists striking her soft mounds. She reached up instinctively, grabbed two handfuls of hair and twisted. The body on top gave a wordless snarl. Yori felt the hands leave her and drive up, colliding sharply with her chin. The twisting harder on her hold, the two grapplers fell sideways. Twin squeals resounded as the support they expected failed. They felt themselves falling a short distance before they rolled out of their enclosure. Two heads came up to see shadows instead of darkness. Twin glares snarled into enraged eyes. One set of bound fists drew back, one hand prepared for a knife strike.

"Monique! Yori!" A strangled, familiar voice squeaked. "What's with the gags? Are you fighting? And...and....Where are your clothes?"


	6. Chapter 6

Honeymoon Hijinks: Chapter 6

I.

Hirotaka watched his student step onto the mat. "_Oh, yes, she has her war face on. I wonder where she learned that?"_

Kim stepped onto the mat, her thoughts focused on one thought, one object. "_She's the only thing standing between my Ron and me". _Automatically, she bowed to the masters, then the referee, then her opponent. As the two women straightened, the ref yelled "_Begin!" _in Chinese. Kim's eyes narrowed. Her opponent, Chul Han, was several inches taller, outweighed her, and was older, probably more experienced in formal fighting. Kim was not deterred.. She was the best at impromptu hand to hand combat.

Chul attacked with a flurry of vicious strikes. Kim dodged the front kick by stepping aside. She deflected the knife strike at her neck by deflecting it over her shoulder. "_Gotcha!" _With Chul overextended by the missed strike, Kim stepped in close to the bigger girl, driving a devastating elbow into the girls nose. Chul's body jerked backward, Kim's left leg hooked and pulled back, sweeping the taller girl's legs out from under her. Following Chul down, Kim drove her elbow into her opponent's solar plexus, driving out the air with an explosive "_whuff". _Chul's torso jackknifed convulsively, adding more force to the crossing palm strike Kim threw at her jaw. Out cold, the older girl was driven onto her side, finally rolling flat, blood pooling under her broken nose. Kim stood, dusted her hands, then headed for the exit.

"Possible san! Where do you think you are going? You must stay for the...". Hirotaka flew backward from the casual back hand that removed his consciousness.

II.

Ron finally managed to squeeze his eyes shut, then cautiously opened them, staring at the ceiling. "Would somebody please, please, tell me what is going on." He croaked.

The two young women had made instinctive cover up motions before giving it up. Monique cut a look of acute dislike at her fellow female. "What's the matter, SMOM, you don't like me this morning?" She cooed.

Ron's gaze dropped, "W...what?"

Monique nodded solemnly. "I guess you know this one? What, is she an ex?"

Ron swallowed, his eyes jerking toward Yori before snapping back to Monique. "W...what...who..Yori?"

Monique cocked one leg, throwing her hips and her chest out. "Well, I understand, lover. After all, if that's what you left, I've got no worries you'll go back, do I."

Yori glared at the _cafe au lait _siren beside her. She bowed slightly to Ron before standing tall, chest out. "Ron chun, remember, the wise man may go to market to see the cows, but he takes home a heifer."

Ron's eyes, which had slid to Yori, closed in fear.

"What did you call me?" Monique growled softly.

Yori shrugged. "I merely proffered a bit of wisdom. However, as you Americans say, if the shoe fits..." Yori's gaze droppedd to Monique's bare feet, eyes widening in mock astonishment. "Oh, I am sorry. One should never discuss deformities. But...where do you get your shoes? The oversize men's section?" She glanced down at her own bare feet, wordlessly comparing their relatively tiny size.

"I shop in the women's section, not the children's dept." Monique smiled back. "But, dear, you really should have someone other than dykes r us do your hair." Monique fluffed her own expanse of soft curls.

"Ah...ladies?" Ron gurgled. The two battling beauties were now facing each other, giving him a mind boggling double profile.

"What is this...dyke, Ron chun?" Yori growled.

"Ah...a...ah..._resubian..." _Ron muttered.

"What?" Yori grabbed Ron and pulled him close. "I will show you, you _anzan gata ."_

_"_What did she just call me, Ron?" Monique yelped. "Ron! Ok, that's it!" Monique swung at the oriental beauty lip locking her 'husband'. "I've had enough of you."

As Monique launched her hay maker, Yori pulled Ron's head down, moaning in pleasure.

III.

Kim threw her few belongings into her duffel. She had already stripped except for a sports bra and panties. As soon as she grabbed a quick shower, she was heading for her flight.

"Miss Possible?"

Kim jerked, looking around her room for a hidden speaker.

"Miss Possible, are you going somewhere?"

Kim growled, but resumed packing her things. _"If they think they're keeping me here one more minute, they are seriously wrong!" _She stalked to the bathroom, starting the shower. "_A quick shower so I don't smell like something that just came off the barn yard, and I am out of here." _

Kim walked back to her bag, reaching in to pull out her toiletries, "_Ron needs me and I..." _Kim's jaw cracked in a yawn. She blinked, "_Ron needs...Ron nee..." _She staggered against the bed, "_Ron... what have they...Ron... I..." _Kim collapsed across the bed.

A probe entered through the cracked door. "All clear, ma'am." It withdrew.

Two women walked in to Kim's room, glancing down at her. "Ma'am," the younger began, "Was this really necessary?"

The senior GJ agent grimaced. "My orders were to keep Miss Possible under control until she was released by Dr. Director. Whatever else is going on, the director did not want her interfering."

The junior agent rolled Kim over on her back, then began pulling a body sheath up her legs. "You know, Ma'am, Miss Possible is not going to be happy when she wakes up."

A grin cracked the other woman's solemn facade. "Not happy? Oh, I think she'll be ready to cause some serious hurt."

"But, Ma'am, we can't keep her drugged that long." The tech looked up nervously.

"We won't have to." The senior tech smiled, "That's the bright side to this little dark cloud. When Miss Possible wakes up, we won't be there. She'll be back in Middleton with Dr. Director, then it's the director's problem, isn't it?"

The junior looked relieved, "Yes, Ma'am, good thinking, Ma'am."

"But if you don't get her bagged for shipment, she may wake up before we get her shipped."

"Uh, right, you got it Ma'am." The tech redoubled her efforts.

"_Happy whatever, Betty, she's all yours." _The senior pulled her communicator out to call in the transport.

IV.

Ron felt soft fingers gently massaging his temples. "_What...happened? Yori kissing, then pain...was that some kind of Ninja attack I haven't heard about? What..." _His thoughts were interrupted by a soft whisper.

"Ron kun, it is time to begin."

Ron blinked, "Y-Yori?"

"Yes, Ron kun."

Ron turned his head. In the dim light he could see candles, what looked like a small altar, and...Monique? A bound and gagged Monique who was glaring at him with a definite "_this is all your fault and I will get even"_ in her eyes.

Ron swallowed heavily then attempted to sit up. "Uh...Yori? Why am I tied down?"

A fond smile answered him as Yori floated around him to stop at the altar. She struck a match then lit something. "Ron kun, You have been sullied. You must be purified."

"And...ah...how exactly do we do that?" Ron quavered.

"Master Lunch Lady gave this to me." Yori's smile blossomed in triumph. A small incense burner smoking on the altar. "She assured me it would arouse your inner monkey, thus beginning your renewal."

Ron sniffed, "Well, it smells nice and all, but I gotta tell you, Yori, I really don't think I've been... ah...sulled? I mean I'd know, wouldn't I?"

Yori giggled, "Oh, Ron kun, you and your American jokes. It is your spirit that has been tarnished, by an impure joining. You must be rid of this."

Ron pulled surreptitiously at his bonds, "Yeah, well, ah,,,I seem to have left my spirit polish at home, but if you'll just untie me, I promise I'll take care of it first thing." A curl of smoke drifted over Monique's face, Ron saw her eyes widen, then she took a deep breath and sighed.

"Ah, Yori, are you sure about this? I hate to bring you down, I mean, we've been friends for a long time, and uh..." Ron began to panic.

Yori smiled beneficently, "Just breath deeply of the tranquility, Ron kun." She demonstrated, causing a noticeable lift in the semi transparent white gown she was wearing. "All will be well, I promise."

Ron tried to take shallow breaths as the smoke reached for him. "Yori." He gasped, "You don't want to do this, really." He glanced desperately at Monique. His eyes widened in astonishment at the sight. Monique's was panting, her eyes looked slumbrous, certain 'indicators' were standing to attention. Ron cut his eyes back to Yori. She also was looking...slumbrous. "Yori...I don't..."

"Breathe deeply, Ron kun." Yori stepped over to him pushing heavily on his diaphragm, forcing the air out. "Deeply." She stepped back as Ron choked a full breath of sweet smoke. His abdomen jerked.

Yori nodded, "It begins." She smiled, reaching up to release the clasp of her gown.


	7. Chapter 7

Honeymoon Hijinks: Chapter 7

I.

"AGENT DU!"

Will Du jerked, his booted feet tangling as he tried to pull them from their crossed position on the desk. He hit the floor with a loud thud. Clambering to his feet, he scrambled into a position of attention. "Ma'am?"

Dr. Director stormed around her desk, her one eyed glare prompting Du to move ahead of her, finally stopping in front of the desk, snapping back to attention.

Dr. Director, leaning on her clenched fists, took a deep breath. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" She finally hissed.

"Ah, Ma'am?" Du kept his eyes firmly on a spot six inches above his superior's head.

Dr. Director collapsed back into her plush executive throne. Gripping it's arms she glared at her "top" agent. "I'm gone for a single week, one stinking week and what do I find when I get back?"

"I..."

"A one hundred and fifteen pound package of soon to be walking explosives!" Betty snarled. "Would you care to explain to me why Miss Possible is in our best quest room, drugged and bound?"

"I..."

"No? Then how about explaining what Mr. Stoppable is doing in Monte Carlo with a completely untrained companion?"

"I..."

"You were supposed to assign an experienced agent to Stoppable!" Betty shouted. (An objective observer might have said screamed) "Do you have any idea how pissed Possible is going to be when she wakes up? And if anything has happened to Stoppable...." Betty's voice trailed off as she stared at the ceiling and shuddered. She whirled back to Du. "Well? What have you got to say for yourself?" She began pacing back and forth behind her desk. "Do you..."

Agent Du swallowed, "I..."

"Don't interrupt me!" Dr. Director snarled. "I have enough problems without your babbling. What am I going to do about this." Will remained silent. "Answer me!" Shouted Betty.

"I..."

"Shut up! You've caused enough trouble. Now get down to the living quarters, you can have the privilege of explaining to Possible what's going on when she wakes up."

"I..."

"OUT!"

II.

Ron Stoppable woke with the largest smile of his life on his face. "_Man, what a dream, if I just don't open my eyes, maybe I can go back." _Squirming back into the mattress, his happy thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of weight. "_Rufus, I am putting you on a diet." _In spite of his best efforts Ron's brain began functioning. "_Rufus, when did you get a twin? Rufus?" _Ron cautiously cracked one eye. "OK_, four poster bed, could have sworn the bed in the honeymoon suite had a canopy. How did I get..."_ His single open eye rolled, sliding past two dark examples of bed head before coming to a panicked halt. "_I did not see that, I did not. I'll open my other eye and the nightmare will be gone. Right." _Ron cautiously opened both eyes, staring at the ceiling. He lowered his eyes. His arms involuntarily clenched.

"Ummm, Ron chan." A light kiss touched his right shoulder.

"Ohhh, Monkey boy, why didn't you tell me you could swing like that." A damp tongue licked his left chest. With an image of red hair and enraged emerald eyes flashing before his eyes, Ron collapsed back into darkness..

III.

The kneeling group looked at the floor.

"Hirotaka."

"Sensei?"

"Where is your student?"

"She left."

"I see. And these? Your assistants? I believe you are four short?"

"Infirmary, Sensei."

"And how did that happen?"

"They...that is to say we..."

"Yes?"

"Possible Sama...ahh...decided to forgo the ceremony. We thought she should stay."

"Strange, I did not see Possible san at the ceremony."

"She...convinced me she didn't need to."

"Ah." The old master paused, if his students had looked up, they would have seen a twinkle. "Perhaps you should see to your students. And Hirotaka?" The old master stood, turning to leave.

"Master?"

"You might want to put some ice on that."

Hirotaka's knees clenched in reaction. "_How...?"_

IV.

Dr. Betty Director pinched the bridge of her nose. _"Oh God, today just keeps getting better and better. I could have waited until tomorrow to check my messages, I was on vacation, but noooo...good ol' responsible Betty. I am so going to bitch slap myself."_

While watching the monitor, she had taken two calls, one from Mrs. Dr. Possible, wanting to know when her daughter would be home. The second from Wade Load, informing her that he couldn't locate Stoppable.

She winced as she watched another door teeter and fall inwards under a red headed furies assault. "_There goes the housekeeping budget for the next two quarters." _She reached to turn down the volume as two GJ agents ran screaming from the room. "_On the bright side, after Du woke up, she did give him an atomic wedgie. He really has to learn to keep his mouth shut. Telling her she might not be an 'amateur' anymore while staring at her chest. He's lucky she just cold cocked him. Of __course, he wouldn't be needing ice if he hadn't woke up and tried to restrain her after she took his uniform."_

She sighed, "_Might as well face the music."_ Dr. Director reached over with barely trembling fingers, activating a concealed 'you are here' map across from the room Kimberly had just entered. "_There, that will lead her right to me. That's a good thing...right?"_

V.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck as he turned the doorknob of the honeymoon suite. He shuddered. "_When am I gonna learn, when? You'd think after the Seniors, but I have to open my big mouth. 'We'll straighten it out when we get back home" We! I had to say 'We'. Now I've got two women planning to set up housekeeping. Kim is sooo gonna blame me! And it isn't my fault!"_

He eased the door open, then blinked. A smile spread on his face. "Why Mo', honey. How'd you know to meet me here?"

XXXXXXXXX

Can GJ survive? Can our hero survive? Stay tuned, next chapter may get bloody. LOL


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